Death: Body and Soul
by fated1990
Summary: Harry has beaten Voldermort, and is now lying in the hospital wing barely hanging onto life. His soul has already left his body, but there is still something holding him to this life and keeping that little monitor at a steady beep. One sided H/Hr and rating is for character death.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.: I know this chapter is really short, I was planning on making it just a oneshot, but after I typed it I thought it would make sense to split it into two. Oh yeah, I obviously don't own Harry Potter =[**

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**Chapter 1**

I was just standing in the corner of the room, just staring at her, trying to keep the thoughts of what might have been if things had been different. I was aware of what was going on around me, so when Ron put his hand on my shoulder I didn't react. "You ok, mate?" He asked. I thought of making a smart comment, maybe try to lighten the mood, but how do you do that when there is a mental timer in everyone's head that soon we would all be fighting for our lives, trying to protect those we hold so close? So instead I just mumbled "yeah" and just carried on looking at Hermione who was standing and talking to Ginny and Luna a little bit away from me.

Ron followed the direction of my gaze to the three and sighed, "You ain't the only one, you know," I turned my head to him, confused. He saw my look and said "You ain't the only one in love with a pretty lady standing over there" I was shocked that I had been caught out, and by Ron none the less! "Am I that obvious?" I asked and he shook his head, and said "Nah, it's only cause I know that look."

We stood silently for a few moments, before he asked "When are you going to tell her?" I sighed, "Look Ron, I can't. I'm going to die out there, how can I tell her how I feel knowing that there is no hope for us?" It was hard to admit that out loud, it was one thing knowing it inside, but actually saying it just made it real. "And anyway," I countered, "what about you? You haven't told her yet." He shrugged, and with a slight blush and sad look upon his face, he said, "What if she doesn't feel the same? I'll lose her. And I just couldn't deal with that." He suddenly looked almost angry at me "and stop with the crap that you are going to die, you're not. You'll come out of this with a stupid grin on your face with everyone cheering at you. Then you are gonna feel stupid for not telling her sooner when it is clear to everyone that she loves you too and you could have already been starting your life together." His words stunned me, _she loves me too? Can I even let myself begin to hope that it's true? _Of course I didn't say that out loud, a man has to keep some pride, but my eyes shifted to Luna, and I saw her quickly look our way before turning back to the other two. I turned to Ron, "you don't have to worry Ron, she is in love with you too, it's been obvious from the beginning that she has," I grinned at him, "so stop moping around and go get your future wife." He grinned back at me, and with a manly hug he walked towards the three girls.

I turned and exited the room with a small smile on my face,_ maybe,_ I thought, _maybe I do have a future to look forward to._ I quickly glanced over my shoulder for one last glimpse of my Mione but I couldn't see her, so I just turned and continued walking, just hoping for this nightmare to end so I could finally have a normal life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I could hear voices, but I couldn't make out who they were or what they were saying. _C'mon Harry_ I thought to myself, _open your eyes._ Sluggishly, I did. Blinking I realised I was in the hospital ward and I felt relief wash over me, because I knew it was over. The-boy-who-lived had done what he was destined to do, I had taken down the most evil wizard that the magical world had ever seen. I knew I had, I saw him turn to ashes right in front of me, and I was still alive! I honestly didn't expect to be, but now I was, I could start living again, I hadn't felt this free since Voldermort's return in my fourth year.

My eyes finally focused on who the voice belonged to; Poppy, the school nurse, and Hermione. And now this was over all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms, and tell her that I love her, that I've always loved her. I tuned into what Poppy was saying, "we've done all we can, it's now down to him. He must find the strength to pull through." Hermione nodded, and I wondered who they were talking about as her eyes were red and watery. I tried to as, but found that my lips just didn't want to form the words and for a moment I feared it was Ron they had been discussing, as I couldn't see him anywhere, but that thought was quickly put out of my mind when I heard him shout "let me bloody in!" My eyes flicked to the direction of the doors and I saw him barging his way past his mum and Bill, who apparently had been trying to calm him, for whatever reason I wasn't too sure.

He came up to me and Hermione, and with a nod in my direction he asked "how is he?" Which I thought was a bit dumb, I mean I was clearly only here because I must have passed out after the battle, bringing down a dark lord is really exhausting, I would recommend that you avoid doing it if you can. But I drift from my point, which is that I actually felt fine. Hermione was speaking now, "Poppy said everything has been done to help him, and that it's now down to him, but, but." It was here that she really started crying, before continuing, "oh Ron! So many curses! He was ripped apart inside as much as on the outside, and unless that can start repairing itself, how can he pull through!?"

_Ok _I thought, _this has gone on long enough, I need some answers. _I struggled to sit up but I managed, and I turned to look directly at my two best friends who were now holding onto one another trying to comfort the other. "Guys," I said. No response. "Oi, you gits, I'm trying to have a conversation with you here," Again no response. _What the hell is going on?_

I then decided physical contact might be the best solution, and truth be told I just wanted to get my hands on Hermione, I longed to feel her warm body pressed against mine. So I reached out a hand to wipe away the tears that were still running down her face, "Hermione," I murmured. I looked at my hand wondering why I had yet to touch skin when I saw that my hand was through her face. For a few seconds, I just sat there, stunned. Then I started laughing. It was a desperate sound, I was thinking this was all some huge practical joke, it just had to be! I started looking around for something, anything, to prove my theory. And then my eyes landed on Ginny. When did she come in? She was sitting next to me, clinging to someone's hand. Then I noticed, it was my hand! But how was that possible? Both my hands kept trying to grab Hermione's that was on the other side of the bed.

I'm not stupid, despite what Snape used to think, but I was desperate. Somewhere in my head I knew what had happened but I just didn't want to confirm it. As if by not acknowledging it I could make everything right again. But you know, there is only so long you can delude yourself for. I had been right earlier that evening. I was dead. I was confused as to why they couldn't see me, and why the machine next to me still beeped away, giving false hope to those close to me that I was alive. But it's hard not to see the truth when you realise that you are sitting up and moving around while your body is laying motionless on the bed that you are sitting on. I was sitting there with tears running down my face, thinking that it was so unfair, _I was called the-boy-who-LIVED, dammit! I'm supposed to be ALIVE._

"Please, Harry" my ranting was stopped as my attention was dragged back to Ginny, "please come back to me, I love you! I love you so much!" _I'm sorry Ginny, you've only been a sister to me in my heart, I really tried to see you as more, but I can't change the way I feel, _I thought. "He loved you too." It was said so quietly I almost didn't catch it, but my head snapped to look at Ron, who was still holding my Hermione far too close in my opinion. When nobody answered he carried on, "I spoke to him before the battle, he told me he loved you, but he knew something like this would happen so he couldn't tell you." I looked at him in disbelief, "What you on about Ron?" I know he couldn't hear me, but it's surprisingly difficult to act differently just because you are dead. "I told you I was in love with Hermione. H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E." But obviously, he just carried on talking, "You gotta pull through, Harry, after all the golden trio can't exist with just two of us, and how are we suppose to celebrate the death of Vol-Vol-Voldermort without the hero responsible? It just doesn't sound right does it?" You could see he was trying to put a bit of humour into the situation.

Just then something caught my eye, off to the side a bit. "Mum? Dad? Sirius?" I got off the bed not believing that I was really seeing them, I felt a bit mean walking away from Ron in the middle of his speech but I could still here him, it's just right in front of me were also some very special people to me. My dad put his hand out, "it's time son, your pain is over," he smiled. "Dad, I'm not, I'm not ready to leave yet. Look I'm still alive." I said pointing to the machine. I know I've already admitted I was dead, but I saw a chance for someone to tell me I wasn't and I grabbed it, but unfortunately, these three didn't want to let me enjoy the hope in my heart as they reached out and crushed it, "Harry," Sirius said, "stop lying to yourself you know the truth." I hung my head and walked back towards my friends. "Why can't they see us?" I asked. My mum was standing next to me and put her arm around my shoulders. "We're not ghosts sweetie, we are just spirits." At my look she laughed lightly, "they are different Harry, but that will take a while to explain so I'll do that when we get home." "Why can't I be a ghost? I don't want to leave them." I was just looking for another option to be with them. "Harry, nearly headless Nick explained to you when I died that only witches and wizards who fear death and refuse to go on can become ghosts." Sirius said. I turned to him, "Well then I refuse to go on!" I said childishly. My dad piped up then, "Son, you have already accepted your fate, that isn't an option for you anymore."

Before I could answer, something Ron said made me tune back in to their conversation, "c'mon Harry, you've always been like a brother to me, and once you pull through this, you can be legally! You'll marry Gin here, and I'll marry my Hermione and then we will be one big family! Tied together for always." He had a smile on his face while he said that, with Hermione nodding and smiling slightly beside him, and right there my heart shattered completely and with that my last connection with my body. And while the machine screeched in a loud continuous beep, I came to the realisation that when Ron and me had talked earlier we had both assumed a lot. I realised I had never told Ron I was in love with Hermione and he thought I was talking about Ginny, and in return I thought he had meant Luna. Never in a million years would I have thought him and Hermione would have feelings for each other that weren't of a sibling nature, and I had pushed them together, I had told him to tell her! I had ruined my own chance of happiness. Well Voldermort also had a key part to play in it, after all it was his fault I was dead, but still.

I didn't realise I was crying again until my mother pulled me into her arms and wiped away my tears. "Come on," she said, taking my hand and leading me towards a light. "Your father can't wait to get you on a broom and see what sort of seeker you are." My dad then said, "that's right Harry, bet you can't keep up with your old man," he grinned. And I admit I did actually start to feel a little of the pain in my heart lift, I was finally going to have a life with my family, granted an afterlife, but still a life.

I paused and looked back at the chaos my death had caused, there was a lot of shouting and fast movements, and I lost count how many times I heard "Harry! Harry!" being yelled. I sighed, "will I ever see them again?" Again, my mum was the one to answer, "Of course sweetheart, when their time comes you'll all be together again." And then my dad and Sirius grinned and said together in a way I had seen the twins do many times, "And guess what Harry? You'll be able to spy on them before that! Just think of all the teasing material"

I took one final look at my friends _it's going to take some time, but we will all be ok. I'm going to miss you guys, but _I looked at my family again as we started to fade, _but maybe this is ok too._

"Hey, Harry! Guess who else we have in the afterlife? Snivilus! Oh the fun that we will have!" That was Sirius, obviously. "Sirius Black! How many more times? Leave Severus alone! You have to grow out of that childish prankster streak of yours!" And obviously my mum had to defend her old friend. Surprisingly, my dad was quite during this exchange.

Ron and Hermione had been pushed away from the bed so the healers could get close to Harry. They both felt a slight pressure on their shoulder and turned their heads but saw nothing there. Then they both would swear they heard a whisper in the wind saying, _"we'll be the golden trio again one day. Be happy." _And then they looked at each other and with tears in their eyes they hugged the other.

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**Well that's it guys, I hope you enjoyed reading this. I did want it to be kinda sad all the way through, but I just couldn't do it!**

**Anyway, you see that little button below this? The one that says "Review"? Well I would be one happy writer if you pushed it and let my know what you think.  
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**See you next time!**


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